Category Archives: introspection

Honor thy father and thy mother?

I think honor and respect should be earned; it should not be automatic. This is true even for — I’d say especially for — one’s parents. Any fertile enough fool can reproduce. Just because they conceived their children, i.e. fucked so that their sperm and egg got to meet and grow, does not mean their children should automatically honor and respect them. It takes a lot more brains and effort to become a parent that is worthy of respect from anyone, especially from their own children.

The same goes for the similar adage “Thou shalt respect thy elders.” Unless one is sick, or is living a risky life, growing old is effortless. Just because one reaches their golden years does not automatically make them worthy of respect. There are plenty of old assholes who demand special treatment and lose their manners and treat other people, especially service workers, like shit just because they happen to have been born at an earlier year.

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You aren’t married. What if he leaves you someday?

He may leave anytime if he wishes to leave. Likewise, I may leave anytime if I wish to leave. That is our privilege as unmarried people; we don’t have to ask permission from the government on whether we may terminate our relationship or not. It is, after all, a private matter, and should stay that way.

Continue reading You aren’t married. What if he leaves you someday?

Knowing that life has no inherent purpose has empowered me more than anything.

I was born into a religious family, and I was raised into believing that God’s will preponderates over everything. That whatever happens, no matter how big or how minuscule, is in accordance to God’s will. That if God wants you to succeed, that if God wants you to pass that exam or that job interview, then, no matter what, you will succeed. And that, likewise, if God wants you to fail, then, no matter what you do, no matter what your plans are, you will fail.

That He is the One who knows what’s best for you. That from the moment you were conceived, or even from the beginning of time, He has laid out a plan for you. Every step, every skill, every score, every job, every relationship, God has already decided for you.

That you have a purpose in life. That you were born specifically to fulfill that purpose, whatever that may be.

And that you gotta have faith, that whatever happens to you, is for your own good, and is for the best, because God has planned that for you.

Well, somewhere along the way, I lost that faith, and I stopped believing. How that all happened is a story for another day. But, for now…

Continue reading Knowing that life has no inherent purpose has empowered me more than anything.

An open letter to myself, for my 31st birthday

Dear me,

I am writing to you because one of the goals in your Day Zero Project is to write a letter to your — or, rather, my — future self. And as our 31st birthday falls close to the end of that 1001-day mission, the first thing that I will be asking you about is your progress. Are you still on this mission, or have you abandoned it? If the latter, why did you abandon it? I hope it was for a worthier endeavor. If the former, I hope you are at least 90% done, because you have less than a month to go ’til the deadline.

I have also chosen to write to you today, because, right now, I am very happy. You know how our mood shifts sometimes, and during the times when we become lonely and depressed (usually thanks to hormones, but sometimes due to external forces), we almost totally forget about the happy times, we feel hopeless, we lose our sense of logic and become prone to making awful plans. I am writing to you while I’m in a happy mood, to remind you that whatever it is behind the loneliness and the depression, that, too, shall pass.

Continue reading An open letter to myself, for my 31st birthday

I have mostly selfish reasons for being childfree. Let me tell you about my unselfish one.

I do not deny that I am a selfish person, and that most of my reasons for being childfree are selfish: I want to spend my money on myself. I don’t want to waste my life raising a child. I love my alone time. I can’t stand the screams and smells of children. I treasure my possessions, and I don’t want to risk them getting ruined. In the event of a disaster or an emergency, I want to look after only myself. I don’t want to share my partner’s love and attention with a child. I like having sex whenever and wherever. I like my body way too much. I love my boobs. I love me. Me. Me. Me.

ME.

Of course, that’s not very politically correct to share, especially in some circles, so I have prepared an unselfish reason in case the topic is, for the nth time, broached upon:

I try to imagine how life would be like some twenty, thirty years from now, when my hypothetical child is already an adult, and I worry about so many things that he/she would have to deal with.

What would the job market be like? Would he/she be able to find good jobs in the future, or would most jobs be replaced by automation? What about competition? It would be so intense. There would probably be nine billion people by then, and all would be competing for food and space and work. Would my child be able to compete with all of those people?

What about the government and politics and society? Would people still have freedoms? Freedom of religion? Freedom of speech? Freedom of assembly? Freedom to wear whatever they want? Freedom to go out at night?

Would they still have privacy? Would they be able to think and say and write what they want, without fear of being policed? Would they be able to date freely, have sex freely, without fear of finding a video of the act on some internet site? Or worse, fear of being incarcerated for it, for one reason or another?

Would it be a time of peace, or a time of war? Or a time of war disguised as a time of peace?

Continue reading I have mostly selfish reasons for being childfree. Let me tell you about my unselfish one.

We miss out on so much of what the real world can teach us.

Whenever I go out, I limit my use of my devices. After all, I can use my phone or my tablet to my heart’s content while at the privacy of my home, so I don’t see much point in devoting too much time on my devices while I’m out in public.

Instead, I choose to use the time to look around, to appreciate the designs of the world around me, both of nature and of man, and to observe people. I especially enjoy observing people. I would sometimes sit alone in a coffee shop or a restaurant, pick a good vantage point, and just watch people. People are fascinating creatures. What are the complex lives hidden behind the visible superficial? I wonder. Why does that woman slouch with her hands in her pockets, why does that man smack his lips loudly as he smokes his cigarette? Why does the child drum his fingers on his cheek, why does the old lady cover her mouth after drinking her water? Do these people have children? pets? privileges? debts? What are they thinking about right now? celebrating? planning? worrying? grieving?

And I observe, in this middle and upper class society in which I live, that so many people, youth and otherwise alike, spend most of their time on their gadgets. Phone in hand, eyes on screen, flicking the idle minutes away, sometimes with a pair of headphones blaring music into their ears, while sauntering on the sidewalk, seemingly without any mind for a spike or an open manhole that could put them in grave peril faster than they could swipe for the next Instagram update.

Continue reading We miss out on so much of what the real world can teach us.